"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
