Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
