Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
