One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
