That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
