i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
