I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize