why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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