Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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