RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
