I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
