Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
