great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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