she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
