my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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