nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
