this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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