I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
