Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
