Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
