i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't deserve a penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
