Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
