my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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