All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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