Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
