Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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