I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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