I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
