would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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