im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
