We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
