I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
