At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
