my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
