Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
