Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
