You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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