I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
