She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
