: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
