you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
