There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
