At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
