maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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