Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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