Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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