sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
