Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
