New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
