He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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