Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
