I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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